There is beauty in letting go.
This child. This one.
Spunky, funny, quiet, helpful, determined, stubborn.
She is her mama in so many ways, yet not.
Yesterday, I was running my fingers through her chocolate brown, baby, wispy hair.
It reminded me of Dandelion seeds floating on a spring breeze.
She is beauty and strength, and I must learn to let go.
My heart is protesting in big heaves of weepiness as she prepares to become a United States Marine. A woman and a Marine in one swift motion. I am not ready.
It fills me with such pride and such terror at the same time.
A gentler career would have satisfied me, made me feel safe.
Made my heart ache less.
But her ambitions and goals are strictly hers.
It’s not for me to determine or decide, but to encourage.
The Marines are preparing her well.
Instilling pride, teamwork, responsibility, dedication to cause, and respect.
They will have her back and keep her safe. That is what I will cling to in these long months and years ahead. Thoughts of anything less than that cannot take up real estate in my mind. It’s too hard.
This weekend, family and friends will say their good-byes. They will feel their own hearts swell and ache with pride. They will pray for safety and success in all she does. We will eat, and celebrate our children finding their life’s calling.
I will stand by and give a piece of my heart for her to carry on each step of her new independence. I will be there every moment of everyday, even if I no longer need to hold her hand.
There is beauty in letting go. Knowing I (we) did the best I could in parenting, and that her heart and sense of duty will serve others in the world. No matter how dangerous, it is all any parent can ask or wish for; to have a child with heart. We have done well with this one.
Roots to grow, wings to fly.